For God Sake, news feeders- have some sense in pushing criminal’s photos in news. I don’t want a High definition Crystal killer’s pic on my Desktop PC and Phone by default hanging around all day, please evolve. Not the first time, fed-up…
Short Story: Mostaq Shakil
They met on facebook, usual initial intro, humors, chat day after days in day and evening whenever Sunita could squeeze time from her busy family and work life. Ron works in a consulting firm that deals with New Business Setup, so he is always up and running online. From facebook to bedroom- Ron is sitting at her apartment today. Sunita ponders, this- she could never imagined in her life- a magician will show up in the life – coming from cloud. Ron often calls himself the King of cloud- that is because she met Sunita via online, and these days the buzz word in discussion is cloud. There is a minor worry that this cloud may bring darkness but when the dreams fly- perhaps such a king can fulfill the dream of a mid-aged life that many of Sunita’s friends fantasize.
Sunita never did this before, she is a serious woman in her 35s, works part time analyst at Bank of Canada in Vancouver BC. Her husband, Naveen in his 40s- a hardworking and family loving man who is worried about everything in the world. He possesses a good life but won’t respite the life within, he would be disturbed often with everything happening around the world, economy, future and the sadness he shares with Sunita- no child yet. Each and every day pass by, Naveen seems running his life in a tighter routine.
Naveen went to Toronto for a seminar for next three days. The apartment complex where Sunita and Naveen lives are quite a posh area and usually safe. Sunita feels bore to live alone in the apartment when Naveen has to travel, usually they would bring Naveen’s sister, Ann to stay with Sunita but this time Ann is visiting her parents in Calgary- so Sunita stayed by herself. And that’s where the intimation with Ron began.
Ron is a middle aged man, immensely successful yet humbled. The part that Sunita likes most about Ron is spontaneous and possesses a witty sense of humor. The feeling of being around him- it is hard to guess what he is going to do next but whatever he does is not going to be bad. He is running 45 but still looks ten years younger, sharp looking and well built. He has a daughter studying in a private school in Montreal, his wife Susan is a homemaker- picture perfect family they have. Ron is the first man ever reads and writes poems for her. It was like a dream from her childhood to have someone write a poem for her. But the dream remained dream.
When Ron met Sunita online, after few chat, he found himself like the old days, all the curiosity exchange with a smart and beautiful woman that felt real despite all the bar and limitation of both of their families and life. His marriage with Susan was practically over many years ago, it wired out so slowly that both Susan and Ron didn’t realize it. But neither of them took a path of change for their daughter Mina. Ron and Susan lived together like roommate for years. Ron thought about changing it every day but such thing was never just up to him. Time, effort and most importantly, a partner was not just at the right time at the right place.
Sunita planned to cook dinner for Ron. She has been feeling strange in her own apartment. Where she cooks often, it felt strange to cook for Ron at the usual place, the flash of Naveen just contradicts her. Sunita accepts the contradiction when she thinks about how rejuvenating the physical part was just an hour ago, something she does not remember when was the last time she felt this way, sleeping with a poet, she smiles softly with her cheek gets reddish-
‘do you want to hear something, just came in mind’ Ron whispers to her ear
‘what is it?’
‘I shall bring you a night when stars from the sky be like white flowers surrounding you, shall bring you dream that will take away all sadness in life’
‘don’t stop, what next’
‘all you have to do is utter the word- if you do, I shall bring you an afternoon when you can float on the water, shall bring you an evening where wind will follow your hair’
‘feels like you just made it for me, impressive’ Sunita feels highly worth
‘bring you a morning, when birds will sing on your ear, bring you an afternoon when sun will keep looking at you’
‘ stop now, I can’t absorb these much, keep something for dinner’ Sunita smiles
‘and after dinner’ Ron smiles back
Ron brings Sunita closer, ‘where have you been all these time?’
Sunita completed her BBA from University of Vancouver almost five years ago. She was ambitious and was going for banking career but her marriage with Naveen happened rather quicker than she expected. Naveen’s mother got seriously sick and she wanted to see her son wedding as her dying wish, this rushed the wedding date. Sunita was happy to be married with Naveen but also was awry of the timing and her intuition had to fight inside to win her agreement. After their marriage Naveen’s mother survived but took a lot of time that Naveen, the only child of parents, was devastated. Sunita thought she needed to support Naveen that time and didn’t make a move to get a full time job. Months and a year passed and then she kind of have had her career drive slowed down, she felt comfortable with her life and Naveen wanted her to stay at part-time job. Sunita looked back and sometimes the desire of career not being where she is makes her melancholic. Seeing Ron being a successful professional, makes Sunita to rethink about a career and she wish she had the freedom and choice to go back five years ago. Part of the reason Sunita got into the facebook is having the time to play with it, eventually it become like a ghost in her life, she could not live without it.
Sunita has lot to say about Naveen, she does not want to share these with anyone. She has strong ego but she kept them successfully hidden that most people won’t be able to notice. She is usually reserved but inside of her mind is like a speedy waterfall in a mountain, the desires are jumpy and she keeps herself busy in various thing, useful or useless, just does not want the volcano to erupt.
The biggest issue she has with Naveen that she feels Naveen has become like a cold fish in last couple of years. Passions dried out, it almost feels like he is living a life like a routine. Sunita brought this few times with Naveen but it upsets him badly, he felt very offended by hearing such mindset arguments from Sunita. His logic is he is working hard for their future, instead of appreciating, he is getting blame being cold etc. Sunita knows how some of her friends deal with such physical coldness from their husband or boyfriends. Cheating starts from heart bumping and then goes up step by step to sheerness.
The night was cloudy and rainy but both of them hardly noticed the weather. It was the first time they were spending the night together, relaxed and pressure free. Yes there were anxiety about Susan and Naveen respectively but both have justified that already before taking this step. Sunita was initially feeling more subtle, but responded well soon after. This is not the first time they are physically intimate but was the first when they didn’t have to get intimate on a clock. Ron amazes Sunita with his focus on her and attention to her details while Sunita opens her in a way she never did before. Ron’s philosophy is whatever he does, he wants to do his best, and needless to say on bed tonight, that makes it very exciting for Sunita.The more Ron sees Sunita closely the more he gets surprises. Sunita talks less on bed but responds heavily with passions on every touch, and lively in her creative acts, deep breaths like the whistles of hot air blows and the special part is her eye movements when Ron is on her, so deep and so sensitive in expressing those beautiful deer eyes- how can I not fall in love with this woman- Ron often ask himself this way.
This is the first time Ron is at the apartment of Sunita. He pays attention to the details – the big size living room interior is classy, organized and clean. The bedroom decoration is matching color and taste, curtains are huge and custom made, both bedroom has balcony attached to it. The living room walls have dialect oil painting along with couple of water color paints. Beautiful bohemian flower base on both bedrooms as well as living room matching design but different shades of flowers are attached with. Sunita definitely got the taste- this thinking makes Ron feel good and justify one more time about hooking up with Sunita. Main bedroom has a broad sky view- both from the room and the balcony- on a clear night how romantic it would be to look at the stars together. Ron visualizes- holding Sunita tight under a white bed sheet that can keep them warm – bring their four eyes as close as possible and count the stars from the bed. Ron calls it star game, this is his favorite game that he use to play at the younger age… On the way out Ron glances at the kitchen, Sunita was making coffee, her hair now were tied with single band, in pony tails she looks so different
To be continued….
Four years ago, when Obama was elected the President of United States- the result came out earlier than we predicted due to landslide win.
I remember we have had preparation to observe the result in the night and arranged casual picnic in Seattle cold November that went in vein.
Nevertheless when the result came out, it was not cold anymore, we ran to Seattle downtown, danced and singed most of the night to appreciate the historic moment.
The thought that time was- it can only happen in America.
4 years have passed, almost 1500 days and night, couple of grey hair, love life to the wire, living at different geography are changes in personal life that would not be different if Obama did not win. But for broader society and future- hoped to see a strong president driving control on greedy trend, a derailed society loosing competition with emerging world and waste of tax payers’ money for useless wars and sandwiched the middle income people with taxes and scary job situation. If Obama didn’t win that election, would it have been better? This is more like a perception question, different political affiliations will response differently. Personally I think, stopping the derail was the most difficult part when he took the office than bringing the indicators back to upper trend. One should remember, where America today, has not happened in last 4 years. Every damage contained long term impact that were occurred before Mr. Obama came to rescue. But rest of the stories are known. Mr. Obama could not do it all. Four years ago many people voted Obama-san as a rescuer. Today most people voted him as someone a better choice out of two bad choice.
Most of the distinguish president of United States were successful at their second term. There is obvious reason as they don’t have to play along with too many stakeholders to become elected again. Therefore the second term president can actually push harder for his/her vision of change. Hope Mr. Obama can be one of them and become a legend. Good Luck!
Bruno can’t concentrate on his latest publishing. From last night a song is playing in his head continuously that is bothering him. When this happens the only cure is to listen to that song. He does not have that song with him anymore, neither can he listen to the song on the Internet since its rather less popular Italian song. Bruno flashes back last night’s conversation with Sohana. Sohana was very quiet last night but Bruno felt bit of a strangeness for other reason.
‘Hana, you seem down today.’
‘Not really, just tired may be’
‘Everything ok back there in Greenfield?’
‘yes as usual, things do not change much back there you know’
‘you like being there as often as you can’
‘yeap what can I say, home sweet home?’
‘Yes, I know what you mean.. then how about here, any home for you here?’ Bruno points to his chest, smiling.
‘It is my sweet spot too’ Sohana smiles back with a touch of shy as Bruno step toward Sohana. This little shyness is Bruno’s favorite. Its been almost two weeks they didn’t spend favorite time.
Sohana is wearing a long white skirt today, blue tops with gorgeous design on the color and sleeve. She matched her hair clip with the light blue and crystal ornaments, her ear ring also has a touch of light blue stone. She tied her hair with that strong clip, making her face looks even slimmer and with the high heel she looks like an angel walking. The moment Sohana stepped into Bruno’s apartment today, he was eager when to hold Sohana tightly, when to get into her, its been a while. Bruno thinks Skirt is sexiest cloths for women and Sohana’s body and shape is almost perfect for this setup. …
Many things come to Bruno’s mind. Bruno knows Sohana still sees Meer when she visits Greenfield. She never calls or contact in any meaning when she is there. Bruno has to live with speculation those days when Sohana is not there. It is only that Sohana reponse differently on bed each time she is back from Greenfield. By now, Bruno figured it out. Today Sohana is specially effective, she almost travels to heaven with Bruno. But even at this age, Bruno still sometimes does not get what women wants. He decided not to speak about it again. But it is not an easy deal for him.
He has two minds. In one it says nothing is wrong. He sort of knows that this thing with Sohana probably is not going to be long term. So what’s the big deal, just enjoy the time with her. Another mind is that comes out from reptile brain. It sees him as an opponent of Meer- that he knows Sohana probably still kinda love with. This ‘kinda’ thing is funky for women, it is an excuse to keep multiple relationships. Bruno does not like this part, he is clear that Sohana is someone who does not want to walk extra miles for love or relationship. Her kind of woman always thinks love and relationship should just walk into her and she can dictate own terms and accords. And it gets worst, she is the one who will not take responsiblity for her own actions. Burno knows what she is doing, if someday this going to be discussed, Sohana certainly will say “He did it with me, he kissed me, he had me”. She will never say ‘I did it!” He knows Sohana quite well by now.
Every step she takes shapes up her future. This she truly believes. Having a relationship with Bruno-knowing there is no future, what is she shaping? Thought of Bruno made her warm but if this is only for companionship and physical pleasure, does she have the ability to move on soon in the future? The extent of talent Bruno possesses is not common, the passion fire he possesses seems unparalleled. With Meer, its different, he has been more like part of her life rather excitements. Its like married to someone for twenty years although she has been with Meer for 7 years. Sohana will need to shape up a very different mindset to get out of this Meer-Bruno circle in life.
The biggest difficulty Sohana has in relationship to let things go completely. She could not let Meer go completely. She will have hard time to part from Bruno as well. The ugly truth is Bruno became important only after she started to have sexual relationship with him. She often remembers their first day, how if felt different. How she felt free, completely reprimanded by physical act with Bruno, a mix of guilt and sheerness- hard to describe.
She was not like this before. She had a few relationship before Meer, they ended peacefully and normally. Yes, it hurt that time but was recoverable. Sohana ponders on the flashback that is when her phone rings-
‘Sohana, this is Shayan, got something urgent;
‘what it is, everything ok?’ Sohana is in clear worry
‘Meer collapsed at the soccer field an hour ago, in hospital now. doctors are checking him in the emergency room’
‘oh no, what do you mean by collapsed, is it soccer injury?’
‘no, its not a game injury, he was found unconscious at the bathroom of the soccer field’
Sohana’s heart beat started to raise quickly
‘ are you there?’
‘yes, i am, just shocked’
‘i think you should come, Sohana’
To be continued…
Two
Mostaq Shakil
Sohana lives in a tiny but classy apartment at the Rue de Lille, just few minutes walking distance from the Paris-Sorbonne University where Sohana attends Arts and Archaeology Department. Rue de Lille is a superb place to live, the morning walk to the university by the river has been a motivation to wake up in the morning. Sohana can’t wait to get out and see the engaged foot path by the river towards her campus.
Sohana, approaching towards 30, can easily be the dream girl of most men. She is smart, tall, slim and her personality is inviting. Her figure ratio from the head to toe are all well calculated by her creature. Her face is tad bit smaller but long reddish hair makes it even more attractive. Sohana’s charm is in her smile, it keeps her fresh, a shy wisdom teeth makes are smile heart throbbing. Her personality and sense of fashion made her a noticeable person in the class. Her talent on Art may at time be limited but she is all for exceling herself at the Sorbonne since she moved to Paris couple of years ago.
Sohana had sleep disorder last night but this morning needed to wake up for a 9:00 AM class. She would not miss the charismatic Bruno Batalia’s lecture who teaches oriental art class. Bruno in his early 50, natural shaped but madly character teacher who has a unique ability to explain things that everyone understands in the class. Sohana never misses his class.
‘Good Morning Sohana Segal, we have been missing you here’ Bruno says as Sohana enters in the class 15 minutes late.
‘Today we are talking about the history of oriental art’
‘the art that derived from Buddhism with one key driver, that is inspiration’ Bruno explains.
Bruno has an Italian accent; his parents are from Milan, Italy. The commanding voice with such accent makes it even more interesting to absorb his lecture.
The class continues for 12o minutes. Sohana has a break for an hour before getting into the workshop in the afternoon. Sohana passes the hallway infront of Bruno’s office, for a few second her heart bit goes up. Sohana has been seeing Bruno for about the last six months in discreet. This started after her so called break-up with Meer.
Sohana can’t understand or define her relationship with Bruno. At times she thinks of it special, at time it is sexual, at times terms it not being able to resist the charisma of Franck.
Sohana possesses friendly personality but also perceived as someone who knows how to get what she wants by treating people well, but also has an ever-so-slightly intimidating edge – just the right amount to keep people from messing with her. She thinks of herself as a serious person in intimate relationship, never had those short term valet parking with guys that most of her friends often do. Yes, Sohana often look for answer in herself what drove the attraction to Bruno. It could be timing, loneliness in Paris and Bruno being such an insightful person who understands her thoughts. Bruno has eyes that can look deep inside of her, he inspires her. But that does not give her mind a satisfied answer. She enjoys the time she spends with Bruno, quality times but Sohana doesn’t clearly see a future in this relationship. Ever since she broke up with Meer, she was heartbroken but it was hard to stay away from Meer when she returns to Greenfield. Sohana also does not know at what point her relationship with Meer started to derail, at one point she never thought it would come to this way someday. Now she has a mix of guilt, anger, compassion for Meer. Her respect for Bruno is there but she often feels guilty after encountering Bruno or when she visits Greenfield. It is this loop and situation is not improving…
At the university café Sohana goes for a light lunch. An Asian salad and a Mocha- short today. Most of the days of the week Sohana would have lunch with her friend Leila but today is Wednesday, this is the day of the week she prefers to seat by herself alone just to take the lunch time for her own mental space. Flash comes then, last week meeting with Meer when she visited Greenfield.
Sohana was lying on the shoulder for Meer. This is her most favorite posture after every physical counter with Meer. Meer was playing with Sohana’s hair. Meer touches Sohana’s chin softly, a very close eye contact now.
‘ Sohana, can I ask you a question’
‘yes’
‘We both know that we are trying to get away from each other. I know why I can’t. but I still don’t know why you are not getting away from me’
‘I don’t have an answer for you. The fact is, I actually don’t know. May be completely disconnecting is too hard on ourselves?”
‘yes I agree on that but this can’t continue forever, right?’
‘Meer, ‘forever’ is an word of infinity to me. I don’t usually think about anything forever, so I won’t know if we shall last. Probably either you would stop or I shall stop someday’
‘It’s a sad image. It already is’
‘But we are still here, spending a non-committal night, is it not what you wanted? No commitment is what you asked for…Why call it a sad then’
As Meer pondered, there is no answer to that, Sohana realized.
‘we discussed it many times, there is no point to make our short time stressful. You and I both know where we are’
When the word ‘where’ was uttered, Sohana fumbled in her heart. ‘Where we are’ actually only apply to Sohana. She is the one who moved to Paris, she is the one who is having an undefined affair with a professor. Meer has had no change in her life style although Sohana doesn’t know if he is seeing anyone. She has never asked this but often wonder.
As Meer pondered, there is no answer to that, Sohana realized.
‘we discussed it many times, there is no point to make our short time stressful. You and I both know where we are’
When the word ‘where’ was uttered, Sohana fumbled in her heart. ‘Where we are’ actually only apply to Sohana. She is the one who moved to Paris, she is the one who is having an undefined affair with a professor. Meer has had no change in her life style although Sohana doesn’t know if he is seeing anyone. She has never asked this but often wonder.
To be continued…
Part 1 is here, 2nd part will be online subsequently. Part 3 and 4 will be published online after the actualy story is published in print
Home on the other side
One
Mostaq Shakil
This part of west London is called Green Field. The naming reason is straight forward, apart from the greenish surroundings the unique shade of greens make the name rightfully justified. Those shades varies from color of leafs to the grasses. The soccer field is on the right end of this mid-size town that has a river flown by the ground. In the short summer, this area becomes gorgeous and heavenly. The flowers scoops are set like a photo finish, people from all ages, children and pets playing all around. The amateur bands coming to play in the evening, some young sailors trying to sail thru and combination of variety of human clothing where reds and yellows are the favorite and shiny, along with the green shades on bottom and sides, the powerful sunshine reflection of these color combinations make the surroundings so magical that Meer always thought this is the best place on the earth, in summer for the least.
Shayan is a working colleague and a close friend of Meer. They work at the urban planning center, a small private urban development firm owned by Mr. Ted Robin, who likes to call itself a family business. 33 year old Meer is an architect and has been with this planning center for about 7 years ad Shayan is the financial analyst, couple of years younger and has been working there for over 4 years. Meer met Shayan the day he joined and Shayan was someone who Meer clicked from the moment they met each other. Despite both of their personalities are quite opposite they got along very well. Sometime this happens in people. The most common pattern is people spend time and subsequently become good friends; they go through lot of up and down time, get tested and hang in there to keep the worth of friendship. Then there is uncommon rare pattern where two guys can become friend very quickly and yet it last for many years. Perhaps it was the personality and the way Meer and Shayan approaches to each other.
‘hey, how is the morning treating you?’ Asked Meer as Shayan passing through Meer’s office to the kitchen
‘So far so good, how was your last night?’ Shayan put up a wicked smile
‘it was interesting and exhausting, the usual’ Meer grins
‘lets go to lunch today, I wanna hear every detail of it..’
‘Yes for lunch, no for details, see you at noon’
Meer had a strange date last night with his former girlfriend who happened to be in the town. Sohana her name, the beautiful skinny, long legged girl from green field, now moved to Paris for her thirst in art. When she walks it is like a soft vibe of a quiet flown river, when she smiles, it is like glimpse of sunshine in London weather. At the age of 24 she was dating Meer thinking that he was the love of her life. Meer was 27 at that time; his attraction to Sohana was boundless back then. Over the time, like many other early affairs, their differences became visible to ‘unbearably visible’ that both decided to move on. However, growing together at the same town, falling in love, spend much time together orienting buckets of sweet and exotic memories of that age is just too hard to move on with. So this ‘move on’ actually never happened until Sohana moved to Paris to study art. Once in a while she gets back to town and manages to figure out a date with Meer, just one wild evening and then she goes completely silent. Meer has got use to this behavior by now and does not complain. Meer is not seeing any other girl but he feels he moved on his own. You don’t have to be with someone to move on in life.
The company won the bid of a sizable project at Dublin, Ireland. Planning a project in Dublin is somewhat different than most of the Europe. Somehow the decision making process there is extremely slow, this causing additional stretch on Meer’s planning team as last minute changes were received just yesterday. Meer was calculating on the sketch on the size of the ditch recoverable areas to expand the new ask by the Ireland office. Today, Meer was fully obsessed all morning with this change and eventually forgot to take the lunch. Usually there are coffees or other fluids during the morning but nothing came in mind. His desk phone rings
‘Hey, I skipped the lunch too, got sandwiched, got a break now?’
‘Yes I do, if I don’t, I shall probably explode in few minute’
‘Adam and few are going to play 30 minute soccer at 1:30 PM, wanna join? It will charge you up’
‘Yeah why not’ -Meer shrugged
‘Alright then, see you at the front in 30 min’
Adam and 7 other colleagues including Shayan and Meer sometimes play this 30 min futsal soccer at the small park just next to the office backyard. It was Adams original idea. Adam, who was a physical trainer in his young days, truly believes that activities at the middle of the day can charge the body and mind. He is also a true believer of British corporate culture of DD. DD stands for day light delight where it is believed that a major number of British male and female engages in physical activities after lunch at the ‘dark’ corners of their offices for ‘dark deeds’. Adam has rather no believe in Spanish Siesta. Other than this issue, he is full of life, fun guy who can single handedly organize any event from soccer to big parties.
The temperature is almost 6 degree Celsius. Most of the players wearing winter jacket now, as the warm up some will not require jackets. Meer and Shayan usually play against each other. As the game starts in this small corner of the backyard with some hard running from the opposite of four, after fifteen minutes of running, Meer started to feel sort of strange. Suddenly feeling a bit short in breath, hand shaking, head felt very light. He fumbled a bit, almost hit his leg hard on the ground without being able to control the movement of his feet. This is awkward, Meer stops the game
‘Mate, you alright?’ Adam comes forward
‘Yeah, I am fine just feeling a bit cold perhaps’
‘Why don’t you get a drink and pour some water on your face, you seem very pale. The water is on the corner, right before the bathroom’
‘I see what you mean, good idea… time out for me. Don’t wait up, I shall get back to the office directly’, Meer tries to put strength in his voice
Meer moves towards the bathroom. He almost felt carrying his leg with him rather legs carry him. He slowly inch towards the bathroom. At that point, he suddenly realized that he didn’t have any water or fluid all morning; he hardly had dinner last night and had a wild night with Sohana. As he adds up all these overlooked failure of feeding himself during the fasting hours, he lost his power to the knee, he falls on the ground. No one comes to bathroom at this time of the day, Meer can hear people, he can hear Shayan, Adam, Mitt Giselle and rest of the collogue shouting to each other for the soccer ball but he can’t hear his own voice.
‘What is happening to me’, a pondering Meer
‘Am I dying?’ Whispers
‘When death comes, it comes like a tunnel. I don’t see any tunnel, I see day lights that very powerful at one section of the horizon. Is that supposed to be the tunnel?’
‘Yes it may be coming, death it is… Isn’t it supposed to be painful? Although I don’t feel any pain; I actually feel kind of peace and happiness inside me and a sense of freedom’
‘Are you not scared to die at this young age? What would your family do without you, your beloved siblings; your beautiful sister who you think should be dating Shayan. How would your mother survive knowing someone as healthy as you can just drop die in the bathroom after playing soccer? This is silly death, soft dismissal, my friend’
‘I can’t register those now, it is not occurring to me. You are speaking the mind when it is full of life. Mind with less power of life got less thinking on what they are leaving behind.’
‘what is on your mind now?’
‘I can only think one thing at a time now. It is someone’s face I am trying to remember but the memory is not producing it. Surprisingly I am not thinking of material life that seemed so important even this morning’
‘are you thinking of Sohana, you were with her last night’
‘I should have but thought about her never occurred to me until you mentioned, I am trying to remember the face of the girl at the library who I met only several times’
‘On different note, the perception of death from the past differs hugely with actual one’
‘The death is painful for people alive not the one who goes’
‘What has made you fearless now?’
Part 2, July 7th post…
A message of love lost…. what an amazing thing communication between two person can be.
Always observed the perils of communication between lovers and between couples. What makes a bumpy road for them, no matter what the relationship inbetween is either the lack of communication or too much communication. With these two scenarios both parties know where they stand…but the most lethal that i have seen yet, is miscommunication…coming to a point where you would rather let it fall, leave it to die rather than try to make the other person understand what it was all about…thats the place of danger….you don’t come back from that point on.
It is said “An arrow once thrown and a word once spoken can never be taken back”, i realise to my horror that ominous as the above statement might sound…it is as true as the daylight that we live and breath in. Scientifically looking at the scenario of miscommunication, you can draw the analogy of a chain reaction happening…one word uttered can lead to something menacing…the result of that coupled by your brain patterns and insecurities or troubles from the present world…all rolled up in a ball of anger, can errupt and wash away all that is held dear and close to the heart.
Its a shame how we humans forget the love shared, the understanding developed, the laughter shared…as time fly. I dont know how the heart that loves you and you know loves you from its very core, can deliberately hurt you…and not just that..it actually utilises the knowledge gained from the time spent together, the insecurities shared and the confidences given against you. It all sounds very sinister i know but i have seen it happening right in front of my eyes…something you cannot close your eyes to….as it stares you in the face and demands acknowledgement.
Between yourself and the other person now there are words and distorted meanings…your external circumstances make you tough and unyielding…maybe resentful….the case is the same with the other party as well. …
I would not be with that person, would not be having converstaion, would not be able to speak….and surely would not be able to love!
When I dream, there are no rules. I can fly, anything can happen.
Then sometimes there are moments as i am about to awake and become aware of the real world around me but i still think i am dreaming. Meaning i try to fly…
Materialized, ourselves, it is all about give and take
There is no true love anymore in this part of the world
In search, it only hurts when try harder
Then when hurt, you try healing by anger, blame and silence..
Pretention, often lying and then self-denying to justify self..
Running after another era of world to forget..
An era where there is no pure love..
When love is only give and take- I won’t need such
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